In Genesis 32 there is a story about a man named Jacob who is wrestling.  Many people believe that he is wrestling with an angel or even God.  In this story he wrestles all night long with this person until in the morning the man says to Jacob, “Let me go..”, but Jacob says that he will not release him until he gives him a blessing.

Then the man asks him, “What is your name”?

What is your name?  What does that have to do with anything?  For Jacob it is everything.

The first time we see Jacob he is lying about who he is.  His father is about to give the blessing of the family to Jacob’s older brother Esau.  His father asked him who he was and he said, “Esau”.  He lies about his name to get what he wants.

At the point that Jacob is wrestling he is scared.  His life has caught up to him.  Esau is after him and he is afraid he is going to kill him.  He done all he can do and now he has one last chance.  He is going to hold on to this man until he gives him a blessing.  The man asked him his name.

And finally Jacob answers.


Finally after years of pretending, conniving and manipulating, he faces who he really is.

Hosea gives us a little more insight to this, “He struggled with the angel and overcame him; he wept and begged for his favor.” -v. 12:4

He was weeping.  With tears running down his face he begs, “Please don’t leave me here alone.  Please.  My life has been a lie.  Please do not go without blessing me.”

He has surrendered.  The angel changes his name.  His life will no longer be about what he can get on his own or how clever he can be.  His life now is about what God had planned for him from the beginning.

Today is a day of celebration.  Xena has been sober for 1 week.  We took her out to the Olive Garden to celebrate.  When we picked her up she looked amazing.  She was laughing and excited about life.  She looked, smelled, and sounded like a completely different person.

I was standing up taking pictures of her and Brit and I mentioned something about Xena.  She said, “Honey, Xena is dead.”

“Xena was my name in my old life.  I don’t need her anymore.  Xena was a drug addict and a prostitute.  Charl is my name.  Charl is a daughter of the living God.”

Xena is gone.

She needed a name to separate her life then from who she was inside.  Xena was her “pretend” name.  Xena the Princess Warrior was a fictional character  on TV and in her life.

Charl is her real name.  Charl – Daughter of the Living God.