I am not doing very well at this.

Today Jerry called and asked if I could take him around to put in applications.  We have a meeting with his probation officer again tomorrow and it is not looking good for him.  We are hoping that by getting enough applications filled out, we can show her that he is trying.

I did not want to go do this at all.  I really just wanted to relax and watch a movie.  Regardless, I pulled myself up and headed out to pick him up.  We stopped at every place that was open along Gallatin Road, the main road by his house.  After several apps, we made it to Subway.  I decided we should chill out and have some lunch together. I knew I needed to give today, so it might as well be now – you know, kill two birds with one stone.

We grabbed an application from the manager and ordered our lunch.  As we sat eating, Jerry was filling out his application.  I started to feel very proud of myself.  I started to think that Jerry couldn’t have done any of this without me.  I even took some pride in thinking that he couldn’t spell that well, and so I was being “patient” with him by teaching him at the same time.  I thought of how sacrificial I had been by even getting up and coming today.

Ha! It sounds ridiculous now.  I am supposed to be using this time to learn how to give of myself, not for myself.

I need God to wash me of this pride.  I cannot do it alone.

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