I get lazy.  I don’t really want to be the lazy guy, but sometimes I just simply do not want to finish what I start.  I am really good at justifying why “this time its ok” to let something go.

I felt that way today about giving.  I had done well for seven straight days of giving.  Today I just wanted to go home and relax.  Would it really be that bad if I didn’t give one day?  In fact, I could justify it by saying that it is good to take a “sabbath” from “working”.  (Try to picture Chris Farley throwing up the air quote marks..)

It is for this reason that God has given me my wife.  On our way home I told her that I had not given yet today and she said, “well, you have to do that”.  How could I refute that?

I guess I knew that sooner or later I really wouldn’t want to do this anymore.  But I also know that God laid on my heart to do this for 30 days for a reason.  I guess he also knew that I would come to this point.  I remembered a couple of books I have read about discipline and its incredible ability to grow us spiritually.

Richard Foster makes a great point about this.  He says that discipline prepares the heart.  If we do not have discipline in our lives we will try to compete with sin out of sheer will power.  He says:

Our ordinary method of dealing with ingrained sin is to launch a frontal attack. We rely on our willpower and determination. Whatever may be the issue for us – anger, fear, bitterness, gluttony, pride, lust, substance abuse – we determine never to do it again; we pray against it, fight against it, set our will against it. But the struggle is all in vain, and we find ourselves once again morally bankrupt or, worse yet, so proud of our external righteousness that ‘whitened sepulchers’ is a mild description of our condition.

I think Dallas Willard hits it on the head when he says that a person off the street cannot turn in an Olympic performance without practice and dedication.  He says that Christians should not expect to overcome what Christ overcame without living like him – with discipline and dedication.  “If we wish to follow Christ…we will have to accept his overall way of life as our way of life totally.”

I followed out of discipline.  I simply got a gift card from Kroger and took it to a friend who is going through a tough time right now.  I just want this time to change me.  Not teach me, but change me.  I want to be totally different in 22 days.  If discipline is what he needs from me to make this happen then I have to dig deep and find it.

God, change me from the core.  I am lazy.

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